As a learning and development (L&D) professional, you know conflict is part of the job. When people care about what they do, they’re going to have different perspectives, ideas, and opinions about what’s “right.” How you handle those disagreements can either lead to unnecessary drama or innovation, collaboration, and respect.

You’ve probably seen the aftermath of clumsy conflict conversations. Communication falls apart, tensions build, and what started as a small issue turns into a much bigger problem. But it doesn’t have to be that way.

With the right communication techniques, you can turn conflict into opportunities for better relationships and stronger results.

What New Research Says About Conflict

Our World Workplace Conflict and Collaboration Survey found that 70% of employees are dealing with the same or more conflict than before. Burnout, understaffing and poor management practices are big reasons for this — 27% of people say these are key drivers. Hybrid work, remote teams, and economic uncertainty have only made things tougher.

But there’s good news: better communication can reduce conflict. 32% of people who experienced less conflict credited improved communication. And, when we asked people to think of a significant workplace conflict they had in the past, and what advice they’d give to their former selves if faced with this conflict again, 55% said they’d stay calm, and 21% said they’d talk about it (or talk about it sooner).

As an L&D professional, you’re in the perfect position to help your teams communicate better and handle conflict with more confidence. You can also be a role model by showing how to have more productive conversations yourself.

Use the G.O.A.T. (Greatest of All Time) Phrases

In our book, “Powerful Phrases for Dealing with Workplace Conflict,” we share hundreds of powerful phrases to help with what we call an “ACE” (Acute Conflict Emergency). Let’s consider a few of the best, which we call the G.O.A.T. (Greatest of All Time) Powerful Phrases. These carefully selected and tested phrases can help reduce tension and move any conversation toward a positive outcome.

Start With Connection

The first thing you need to do in any conflict is make a connection. People want to feel heard — especially when they’re upset.

Connection happens at two levels. Building trusted relationships (before you need to have a difficult conversation) and connecting in the conversation.

Imagine you’re in a clash with a co-worker named Joe. You’ve come together to talk about it. Joe opens the conversation with a Powerful Phrase, “I really care about you and this project, and I’m confident we can find a solution we can all work with.”

Well, if Joe’s basically a good guy, who got you out of a bind last year when your little boy was sick and, oh yeah, just last week he told your boss what an amazing job you did building out that custom training program, that’s a solid way for Joe to start the conversation.

You might think, “Well, I’m frustrated, but come to think of it, Joe always seems fair. Let me listen to what he has to say. He’s right. I bet we can work this out.”

Now imagine the same conflict, but with a different Joe. This Joe recently threw you under the bus and took credit for your work. Oh yeah, and last week he laughed at your idea for a new leadership program, in front of your boss and others.  Now if Joe starts the conversation the same way, by saying, “I really care about you and …” you might think, “Nice try, Joe, but that’s a hard stop. I don’t trust you.”

That’s the power of connection. The more connection you can build before you need it, the easier conflict becomes.

G.O.A.T. phrases:

“I care about _____ (you; this team; this project — whatever you genuinely care about), is one of our favorite G.O.A.T. phrases to create connection. Another is: “Tell me more.”

These three words encourage the other person to share their perspective. It helps lower defensiveness and creates space for real dialogue.

“It sounds like you’re feeling _______. Is that right? (Pause here for affirmation). Thank you for letting me know how you feel.”

This powerful phrase is a relationship-building technique called “reflect to connect,” where you’re not agreeing with what they’ve said or telling them you agree with their emotion. Rather, you’re acknowledging how they feel. You see them. When you reflect, you create a common starting place for the conversation.

Clarity Prevents Drama

Think about any significant conflict you’re dealing with now or have dealt with in the past. We’re willing to bet that the source of that conflict includes an expectation violation. You thought your colleagues would clean up their coffee mugs after the meeting. They thought the magic coffee mug fairy would take care of it. Everyone carries around expectations of one another. And sometimes you don’t even know you have an expectation until someone doesn’t live up to it.

Bring on the clarity G.O.A.T.s.

G.O.A.T. phrases:
“What would a successful outcome do for you?”

You may or may not agree on what success looks like, but gaining clarity around expectations can save a lot of time and energy. If it turns out you both want the same thing, you can shift to a “how can we” conversation.

This powerful phrase goes a step beyond defining success and gives each party a chance to articulate deeper motivations and concerns.

Another great phrase is, “Let’s start with what we agree on.”

When things get heated, this phrase brings attention to common ground, which can quickly calm things down and help you move forward together.

When You’re Furious, Get Curious

Curiosity is often the hardest part of a constructive conflict conversation, because you have your point of view for a reason. It’s hard to be curious when you feel angry or disrespected. The curiosity G.O.A.T.s are so powerful because it’s hard to be curious and furious at the same time.

When you stay curious, you open yourself up to learning more about the other person’s perspective, which can lead to better solutions.

G.O.A.T. phrases:

“I’m curious — how does this look from your perspective?”

This phrase shows that you genuinely want to understand the other person’s point of view. It encourages them to share their thoughts, which helps you gather valuable information to resolve the issue.

“What do you suggest we do next?”

This question helps keep the conversation focused on finding solutions. It also shows that you respect the other person’s ideas and are willing to work together to solve the problem.

Commit to Action

One of the most frustrating aspects of workplace conflict conversations is it seems like they’ll never end. As you connect, get curious, and build on one another’s suggestions, your conversation needs to produce action or nothing changes. And if nothing changes, it’s worse than if you never had a conversation.

Let’s get you some commitment G.O.A.T.s

G.O.A.T. phrases:
“What’s one action we can both agree to as a next step?”

This phrase ensures that both sides are committed to action. It also makes it easier to follow up and check progress later. To make sure things don’t slip, you can use this follow-up phrase: “Let’s schedule some time to talk about this again and see how our solution is working.”

By setting a time to follow up, you make sure the issue doesn’t get forgotten and that progress continues. This way, you’re not just putting a quick fix in place — you’re working toward lasting change.

Your Role as an L&D Leader

As an L&D professional, you can give learners the tools they need to handle conflict better. By teaching these G.O.A.T. phrases and creating a culture of connection, clarity, curiosity and commitment, you can help reduce drama, build stronger relationships and create better outcomes for everyone.

With the right communication, conflict doesn’t have to drain energy or slow down progress. Instead, it can become a source of growth and stronger collaboration.