Originally published on May 3, 2016. Updated March 2026.

Ever wonder why some negotiators seem to move through discussions with ease while others struggle to reach agreement? Often, the difference comes down to negotiation style.

Without awareness of your own tendencies, and an understanding of the style your counterpart brings, even straightforward negotiations can become unnecessarily difficult. Today, that awareness is even more important as negotiations increasingly happen across digital channels, cultures and time zones.

Most negotiators tend to default to one of five styles: competing, accommodating, avoiding, compromising or collaborating. These styles are adapted from the Thomas-Kilmann conflict model and remain highly relevant in modern negotiation, where competing priorities and limited resources often create tension.

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The Five Negotiation Styles

While individuals may shift between styles depending on the situation, most people have a natural preference. Recognizing these tendencies can help you better navigate conversations and outcomes.

Competing

Negotiators who favor this style are assertive, results-driven and focused on achieving the best possible outcome for themselves or their organization, sometimes at their counterpart’s expense. While this can be effective in high-stakes or time-sensitive situations, it can also come across as aggressive if overused. On the assertive versus cooperative scale, this style is higher in assertiveness and lower in cooperativeness. These negotiators prioritize outcomes over relationships and tend to rely on data, leverage and position.

Avoiding

Avoidant negotiators tend to step back from conflict, preferring to delay or sidestep difficult conversations. They stay neutral, objective or removed from the situation or leave responsibility to their counterpart. The individual does not immediately pursue their own interests or those of the other person and there is an element of self-sacrifice in this mode. This style is low in assertiveness and cooperativeness, and is not focused on either the substance of the agreement or the relationship. While this style can be useful when emotions are high or more information is needed, overuse can lead to missed opportunities or unresolved issues.

Accommodating

Those who adopt an accommodating style prioritize relationships and harmony. They tend to smooth over tensions, minimize differences and are most concerned with maintaining a good rapport and satisfying the needs of the other party. This style is lower in assertiveness and higher in cooperativeness. These negotiators tend to emphasize the relationship as more important than the substance of the agreement. This style can be valuable in long-term partnerships or team environments, but it can also result in overlooked priorities or imbalanced outcomes if not managed carefully.

Compromising

Negotiators that exhibit this style focus on efficiency and fairness, often seeking a middle-ground solution. This style works well when time is limited or when parties have equal power. However, in complex or strategic negotiations, simply “splitting the difference” can leave value on the table that could have been uncovered through deeper exploration. This style is intermediate in assertiveness and cooperativeness and more focused on creating a decent agreement relatively efficiently while maintaining some relationship.

Collaborating

Collaborative negotiators aim to create value for all parties by exploring underlying interests and generating creative solutions. This style is both assertive and cooperative, making it especially effective in today’s relationship-driven and cross-functional work environments. While it may require more time and effort, it often leads to stronger outcomes and more sustainable agreements.

The Evolution of Negotiation

While these five styles have remained consistent over time, the context in which we negotiate continues to evolve. For instance, let’s consider the following dynamics of today’s workplace:

• More virtual negotiations: Video calls, email and messaging platforms require greater intentionality around tone, clarity and trust-building.
• Greater emphasis on data: Negotiators now have access to more information than ever, increasing the importance of preparation and analytical thinking.
• Cross-functional and global collaboration: Negotiations often involve diverse stakeholders with different priorities, making adaptability a critical skill.
• Focus on long-term relationships: In many industries, ongoing partnerships matter as much as the immediate deal, reinforcing the value of collaborative approaches.

Becoming a More Effective Negotiator

Each style has its place, and no single approach works in every situation. The most effective negotiators are those who can adapt their style based on the context.

For example, an accommodating approach may be appropriate when preserving a long-term relationship is critical, while a more competitive stance may be necessary in a one-time, high-stakes transaction. Similarly, avoiding can be useful when timing is not right, and compromising can help move stalled discussions forward. The key is flexibility.

In order to be the most effective negotiator, you must recognize your own default style, assess your counterpart’s style, and adapt intentionally based on goals, stakes and relationship dynamics.

While the collaborative style is often the most effective in business settings, particularly where long-term relationships and complex outcomes are involved, it is not always practical. However, it offers a useful benchmark. At its best, collaboration combines assertiveness, relationship awareness, thoughtful restraint and a focus on maximizing value.

Ultimately, strong negotiators don’t rely on a single style. They build the awareness and agility to use the right approach at the right time.